黑。角落

2012-02-13T14:59:00.002+08:00

here i am sitting in front my of lappy..

am 14 days away from 24 years and counting.

last night, today and now..

i did; doing a recollection of whatever that happened in my < 3 life.

like i told him, i don't regret what happened..

in a way, am glad it all happened this way.

i've a happy friendship due to us

and now am happy for you.

the latest one broke me but it's ok.

am fine now :)

because i finally understand that i deserve much better.

not that am dense, but i initially choose to stay stuck.

so what we talked about "what-ifs..?"

so what you made me cringed a little upon hearing that?

so what am envious for maybe more than a second?

it all doesn't belong to me.

Because He knows better what deserves me and vice versa.

just like what i told you, "... I shall wait :)"

oh yeah, I've grown up.

rock on, Love.

2012-02-13T14:12:00.001+08:00

I KNOW WHO I WANT TO TAKE ME HOME :)

closing time.

2012-02-06T15:05:00.002+08:00

am tough that's why.

02022012.

it was a happy day for me.

it gave me an earnest smile.

i really smiled.

wee hours of 04022012,'

it ended amicably.

now the question is 12022012.

i won't hide my disappointment here.

am pretty sure it will never be the same again.

thank you anyway.

hope all well ends well.

2012-01-29T02:17:00.003+08:00

250th.

emotions running pretty high these few days.

went for a visiting on friday.

got to know some ugly truth.

well, at least it's not as hurtful as that, before.

saturday evening.

went for service.

"think Now, not too far."

i guess i need to do it step by step.

i don't know what will happen in the future anyway.

i'll buck up for my next step.

the fact that i know of his reaction that evening disgust me.

he left me speechless, totally.

never did i once thought he was that narrow minded.

it made me even more determined to push him out of my life.

to begin with,

perhaps it was all a mistake or step that i should not make or take.

i couldn't hold back my sudden gushing tears.

so i went with the flow.

i guess you're mistaken.

am not crying because of him.

i just want to get out of the s*it hole fast.

even if i know patience is the key.

till now, i don't know the purpose of the whole happening.

i still want to know but for the time being, i shall leave that aside.

or maybe i'll never know.

them.

i couldn't care less because they are my family.

thus, it hurts slightly more.

but then again, i'll make whatever i heard of to motivate me.

i'll learn to be numb.

because once i learn to be numb of such sayings or stuffs,

it won't pain me as much.

once i learn to be less trusting and trust myself more,

no one will be able to hurt me for,

i won't harm myself.

i'll secure one.

to make the table turn.

when the orange flame turns into deadly blue.

when the warm loving eyes look cold.

for every change, there must be a reason.

and i don't need your approval for that.

2012-01-27T00:46:00.002+08:00

happy chinese new year.

yeah, today is the 5th day of cny.

how fast time flies.

and i received a text from Sam's second sister in law.

an invitation to her place.

it's nice of her.

a simple cny,

like it's for the new year as well.

i hope it'll be smooth for me.

i'll work hard for it.

jia you.

2012-01-17T01:01:00.002+08:00

arghs.

i faced it.

i did.

i love him.

i loved him.

i like him.

i still do.

am going nuts.

it'll be replaced with something better.

that's the quote i came across.

but my heart's rejecting it.

i thought i saw him smiled.

at me.

years versus months.

i don't think you've totally forgotten about it.

because i haven't.

not when i haven't.

am hoping.

will it come true?

something tells me.

Something.

i fear.

2012-01-15T17:53:00.002+08:00

saw familiar faces on Friday 13th.

i realized there's no more heartache.

i wondered what am i feeling that night.

My lovely Sam,

we'll have soo much fun.

thanks Robin,

thanks Sam.

2012-01-11T17:28:00.001+08:00

cross my fingers.

i will secure one.

i want a happy new year.

2012-01-05T12:59:00.002+08:00

245th.

i present my moon.

moon walk uh?

LOL.

by the way, am praying really hard to secure one.

just one :)

his dark crimson eyes pierced into his prey.

all the crimes, the deeds- bad and good, flashed in his mind.

mind reading as simple as 1-2-3.

"Let me off please, I beg you! I'll repent seriously!"

beads of perspiration streamed down profusely.

"Too late for an apology.." he hissed.

"But I can let your blood devour you."

a wicked smile flashed across his cold pale looking face.

2012-01-01T22:00:00.002+08:00

ok, i know new year resolutions don't really work for me..

but still, i will list it out, for every time i blog, i read and remind myself.

stop procrastinating
rule it with logic as well
continue to reduce impulse buying =)
be in control
be myself, be HAPPY!

i am still hoping.

every misses i gain, it makes me hold on tighter.

let 2012 be a blessed one.

A new chapter.

2012-01-01T00:30:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 2012 Everyone!

it will be a better year.

i will bear that in mind.

patience is a virtue.

and i'll be stronger.

2011-12-28T23:56:00.004+08:00

do you think so too?

*cross fingers.

happy birthday in advance to you.

2011-12-25T22:05:00.002+08:00

merry christmas.

it's peaceful christmas for me after 5 years.

yeah, i miss those times but this ain't too bad as well. :)

accompanied my girlfriend out today, saw cute foreigners.

LOL.

yes, they were suave looking. :)

quite similar to those described on wattpad.

wahahas.

Amir Bashan. Israel guy.

thanks for your entertaining magic tricks.

and that call, that so called coincidental call.

i don't know what can i say.

my rationale side or my heart says?

what an eventful christmas day after all.

sad thing that Singapore doesn't snow..

i choose to believe it's not.

it's a sign.

am listening.

i trust what cannot harm me.

myself.

2011-12-19T18:26:00.002+08:00

240th.

it's been raining these few days.

makes me have mixed feelings.

but it's not all bad. =)

anyway,

can you give me a sign?

to hint me that it's working?

and i hoped i can secure that.

2011-12-15T12:22:00.002+08:00

i miss blogging about you & i.

i was looking through my friend's pictures,

i know you're there.

sneak peek a little.

it's such a beautiful place.

i miss updating and tagging you.

but just so suddenly, i couldn't recall what about you.

it's a love hate thing.

i'm still feeling the positiveness in me and am glad.

i took it step by step.

truth x consequences.

jes babe shared with me an article days ago. =)

we always encourage each other in the aspect of self/ actual realisations.

after reading it, it further affirms the thinking in me that, ~~karma~~ consequences will be no matter when, be bear.

one day, i shall see the very blue sky, with my very own frame in hands.

2011-12-14T00:39:00.001+08:00

enough said.

它说《放弃，也是另一种幸福》我说《这种幸福，没人会领。》

2011-12-12T15:27:00.006+08:00

有一種愛，掛著淚珠，但很淒美，它叫做放棄！
放棄真的是另一種愛，放棄真的是另一種幸福？
確切的說，放棄是另一種方式的擁有！
自己狼狽地退出，這不是偉大，而是因為在放與不放之間我明白了。
感情是不能勉強的，也勉強不來，
就算我死死地抓住，抓住的是什麼？
是傷痕，是痛苦！
把手握緊，裡面什麼也沒有，

把手鬆開，我擁有的是一切。
最痛苦的，莫過於是徘徊在放與不放之間的那一段。
真正下決心放棄了，反而，會有一種釋然的感覺。
從此，痛和愛都深深埋進心裡。

人生就是這樣，難免有痛，難免有傷。
無論我是否曾經抓住抑或遠去，那些東西都不可能離我而去。
雖然有些事不能回首，有些回憶不能梳理，有些人只能永遠埋藏。
愛上一個人是一件很麻煩的事，
特別是你不知不覺中會為他放棄了很多事，為他做了很多事。
而他卻死終堅持某種東西，不肯放棄時，
那你是走進一個地獄，很苦很苦。
特別是到最後他卻說，錯的是你，這一切是你自找的。

一個人一生可以愛上很多人的。
而等你獲得真正屬於你的幸福之後，
你就會明白以前的放棄其實是一種財富，
放棄讓你學會更好地去把握和珍惜。
不是因為你得到了想得到的，
而是因為你是在為自己而活，所以你要學會放棄。
放棄是一門藝術，它不是叫你盲目的逃避，
而是要你明白痛苦的維繫還不如放棄！
學會放棄，在落淚以前轉身離去，留下簡單的背影。
將昨天埋在心底，留下最美好的回憶。
學會放棄，讓彼此都能有個更輕鬆的開始，
遍體鱗傷的愛並不一定就刻骨銘心！

愛一個人，就要讓他快樂，讓他幸福，使那份感情更誠摯。
如果你做不到，還是放手吧！
放棄何嘗不是另一種美麗！
一抹朝陽雲散盡撫琴訴情悠揚徹雲霄此番心思堪誰知縱
是無情亦有情許多的事情，
總是在經歷過以後才會懂得。
比如感情，痛過了，才會懂得如何保護自己。
傻過了，才會懂得適時的堅持與放棄，
在得到與失去中我們慢慢地認識自己。

其實，生活並不需要這麼些無謂的執著，
沒有什麼就真的不能割捨。
學會放棄，生活會更容易。
學會放棄，在落淚以前轉身離去，留下簡單的背影。
學會放棄，將昨天埋在心底，留下最美好的回憶。
學會放棄，讓彼此都能有個更輕鬆的開始，
遍體鱗傷的愛並不一定就刻骨銘心。
這一程情深緣淺，走到今天，已經不容易，
輕輕地抽出手，說聲再見，真的很感謝，這一路上有你。
曾說過愛你的，今天，仍是愛你。
只是，愛你，卻不能與你在一起。

source: http://likedget.net/p4034?fblt=15b0f#hcc

2011-12-12T15:18:00.002+08:00

maybe it's working, maybe it not.

but i do know, at least it's making slow progress.

i still hope all ends well. :)

my sensory skills today acted just fine today. psychic day 3. lol.

if that's the case, i'll be praying harder. and i'll be thankful, really.

and i'll hope and pray really hard for a way better 2012! i do think i deserve it.

when i see you, it's nothing that i could recall,

but that, that back view and elongated shadow against the floors,

somehow makes me feel warm.

2011-12-11T14:22:00.007+08:00

got a new blogskin.
did away the Cbox.

by the way, mute the sweet melody on the top left hand corner of my blog if you find it too diabetic. heh.

well, to blog about something of yesterday, I spent nearly 130 bucks.

hahas. it was all necessities though i felt the pinch. but i'm still happy.

seeing these colours makes me feel smiley~ :)

jes babe shared with me a quote:

To know and be disappointed is always better than to not know and always wonder

yet i told her, true enough but i don't want to get used to disappointment. life is simple but it didn't promise to come without dilemmas. that's where choices arises. :)

weather's cool now due to the rain in the morning. but i personally find it a little depressing to wake up on a rainy sunday morning, not that i like sunny sundays too. perhaps, i woke up on the wrong side of the bed.. :| the bad feeling en-caved me when i sat up in bed. ouch. but i choose not to let it affect it too much as of now.

planning of parties can be such a bitch sometimes. not that there's serious conflicts lurking around but to reach consensus is vexing. even a ten years friendship not spared. guessed, i'll spend a lifetime learning to not feel "i became the bad guy. i am the bad guy. *points out finger* she's the bad guy. she'll look like the bad guy. then consoles her, that her, whoever, whatever"

but we all know it's a must go through phase. :|

"the bond was put to test but we got through, all in this together.
i looked into his eyes, like the cool yet fiery lunar eclipse drew me in. i breathed.

and i know our love beats nothing but all."

writing an extract of my random story writing habit, puts a curve to my lips.

2011-12-06T17:51:00.003+08:00

hmm.. i don't care if it doesn't sounds logical.

my friend enlightened me about the real meaning of being sorry. man, i do agree.

when someone says sorry too many a times, it just loses its meaning.

"If you're really sorry then you'll never repeat the same mistake again, but if you're not sorry,

don't ever say you're sorry."

it's true.

_______________________________

how many people know how precious are ties before they lose it?

i miss the warmth, you've emitted always.

i know humans can never directly forget a scent. not unless you bang my head on the wall.

this hope is different, i can sense it, somehow, it keeps me going on at a pace where i can handle it. =)

i got a feeling but it's not black eyed peas.

2011-11-25T15:45:00.002+08:00

in the month of November.

right. it's kinda shitty.

but then again, this is life ya?

i did it. i'll wait patiently with belief.

other than that, really.. that bastard is making it hard for me to ignore.

as much as i don't want to rant and curse, he's really too much.

i hope all ends well.

2011-11-06T01:01:00.004+08:00

it's over.

i don't know if i should be glad or what.

but i am clear of one thing.

it's just not love.

anyway, a random one:

2011-10-29T20:45:00.002+08:00

i ended it on twenty 7, wee hours.

indeed, i felt lighter and happy after a sufficient sleep.

my heart built a wall.

though it might looked invisible.

perhaps, just perhaps..

my waiting for-time-to-pass clock is ticking.

no, it isn't just any other clock. not like the rest.

it's one special clock.

"knock knock, can I/you come in? can someone come in?"

2011-10-21T16:17:00.002+08:00

twenty10.twenty11

i know he's happy.

i know he wants a chance.

i know he waited.

so..

to be fair,

i'll try.

but please let him remember his promise.

there's still a hope in me.

2011-10-12T17:25:00.002+08:00

image of the girl is found on google. no credits to the image.

but i did the editing of this image. Something in me probed me to do this.

Probably , am emo but whatever. =)

2011-10-03T13:38:00.002+08:00

i am better off than you.

i won't stoop to the low level of yours.

i am happier.

are you?

but anyway, i couldn't care less now.

i just want to see and feel as much.

without you.

someday, it may come..

perhaps it'll be you,

it may not be.

Goodbye.

i do not own the picture.

2011-09-21T16:42:00.001+08:00

bah.

people come and go..

things happened and fade away..

but one thing stays, memories.

WOULD YOU COME BACK & GIVE ME A LITTLE KNOCK?

i'll try to balance.

2011-09-04T12:20:00.000+08:00

i miss you.

i want you back.

i'll walk first.

i choose to believe..

2011-08-24T10:34:00.002+08:00

In Life, it's so hard to balance and gauge..
well, at least for me..

i have been through the same and i have overcome it
and now, it's someone else's turn.
i felt and still feel the pain, still as clear..

but i am better now..

2011-08-21T11:52:00.002+08:00

must

keep

going.

can(not)

contain.

little by a day.

loads

when

forever's

near.

别人说不值，我说值就值。

i don't own this image.

2011-08-13T23:59:00.000+08:00

it's been answered. is it considered?

anyway, i'll buck up.. i will.

you must hang in there.

2011-07-31T20:34:00.003+08:00

hmm.. i haven't been blogging for a while.
these two weeks have been quite an unexpected one for me.

hahas. did something only to realise it after that.

how epic.

and seen someone that really disgust me.

trying to fabricate tales to keep it going,

trying to keep me in the dark..

it's BEEN HARD on you uh?

hahas. oh please just leave me alone.

at the same time, i've got back two friends.

hahas. sounds weird ya? but am glad everything turned out well.

aside from that, got to buck up for my papers and my work.

on thursday, i went to Pluck @ Haji Lane.

spent a few hours there, wanting to revise for my upcoming papers but

i got derailed. hahas. had tasteful ice cream- butterscotch with walnuts.

took photos of the little boutique and edited it.

laughed the hours off with marianne and joined her and her uni friends at strictly pancakes.

really enjoyed my day.

friday arrived, did my last lap of revision and in the evening,

i went to watched "Young Mozarts"

oh man, the kids really impressed me.

they are that good. =D

lately, i kept having flashback.

all came to me in a smooth sequence.
i do miss those times, i am sure holding on,

however, what is Time doing to me?

what's in stored for me?

i'll be there, you know it.

and i am aware deep down in some corner,

i am still hoping.

please keep him safe.

2011-07-12T12:22:00.004+08:00

i need to let it all out.

ALL OUT.

am disappointed again despite knowing the fact that you're like this, perhaps never will change.

am scared of the lot drawn as much as i'm hopeful about it.

like what my girlfriend mentioned, your mindset is not within my control.

perhaps it'll will come true; till the day you choose to settle down.

crying is no longer my option.

am just waiting for.. something i guess.

impossible.

i don't want to sit around the house all day long and be in daze.

thinking through; thinking back.

they still make me smile.

am not surprised.

i know you but how much do you know me?

yeah, i know you thought you know me.

patience is what am lacking uh?

i'll wait.

for something. whatever Time brings me.

i don't know.

don't ask me what.

i don't want to bury it any longer,

neither do i want to say it out loud.

i'll carry it with me.

one day, i'll know what to do with it.

where to place it.

one day.

is this called moving forward?

no, you're never a burden.

it's just the emotions breaking up on you and me.

2011-07-11T12:50:00.003+08:00

i thought i was feeling much better..

well i thought..

no am not. it still affected me somehow.

arghs. it's irritating.

i don't want to act nonchalant, i wanna be nonchalant.

what is this all about?

the lot i drew.. i can't be dreaming or in self denial right?

how is this going to get going?

it seems like a one way street and to make it worse, it's a dead end.

(maybe, it seems like that to me now. people may say "you'll never know what's gonna happen next..")

i admit loud and clear: I AM IMPATIENT.

i hate having the "leaving me in suspense" feeling!

people, gut feeling of others, gut feeling of mine, asking for signs, 神明.. go down the list, am sure it's all crossed out already. i even had this crazy idea to have my fortune read.. >.<

help me help me! somebody please..~

but now, at least i know am able to realise the fact.

"WAKE UP, NOT ASKING FOR BACK UP!"

2011-07-07T17:30:00.002+08:00

dear listener..

i would like to thank you for listening and have my prayer answered.

well in my case, a good lot was drawn although i don't know what it really means..

seems like you gave me a pointer further than i expected.

i was only asking for a "Yes- to go on" OR "No- to give up"

thank you once again, you made my day.

yes, am a contradicting person. i fear that it wouldn't come true. am just hoping for a better outcome. am now hesitating to have my hopes high. because am afraid of falling from the same spot.

but am happy as of now. =)

with love
veline.

2011-06-28T17:38:00.002+08:00

不曾努力过的人，是不值得珍惜的。

而爱你的人，是永远不会伤害或让你掉泪的..

我得牢牢记住..

期待《十一月之雨》

November Rain

2011-06-27T10:29:00.001+08:00

related to my previous entry..

He did reply. Apologies much.

Thank you.

am so lost of words.. hmm.

2011-06-24T00:09:00.003+08:00

another new day began..
yeah, am still catching up on vampire diaries.
it's ending soon..

just thought of a quick entry would be nice or at least make me feel better.

well, was on Facebook minutes ago.. chanced upon an "old" friend of mine. for some reasons, though assured that we'll still be on talking terms- we're just no longer contacting. how common. saw his wedding video clip (nope, he's not my ex.) so sent him a message on Facebook. told myself if he doesn't reply, he's another A hole, likewise to his honorable friend..

well yeah, am still hoping a little but i have this feel that he won't reply me. so much for saying, "it didn't change my judgement towards you.. you can still come to me if you have any problem."

so let's just either keep my fingers crossed or prove that my instinct is accurate. I place a bet on my instinct.

2011-06-22T10:51:00.002+08:00

was particularly hooked to this song recently again.
however, i was listening to its cover done by Boyce Avenue.

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird...i’m more than a plane
More than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me

Wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd...but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed...but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
It’s not easy to be me

Up, up and away...away from me
It’s all right...you can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy...or anything...

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me
Inside me
Yeah, inside me
Inside of me

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
I’m only a man
Looking for a dream

I’m only a man
In a funny red sheet
And it’s not easy, hmmm, hmmm, hmmm...

Its not easy to be me

2011-06-18T00:22:00.003+08:00

12:22am
18 June.

i just feel like writing out the date.

i just wanna do random blogging in this entry.

keep up with me, okay?

precious time ticking away every moment.

time passed. we grew up.

but the Youtube link proved us right again (somewhat right).

am glad that I've met you though you always tease me for it.
and yes, though it was super awkward start for us both.

it's definitely one of the memories i like thinking back always.

thank you. c:

2011-06-12T16:02:00.002+08:00

it has stopped but my heart hasn't mend..

arghs.

give me a break, will you?

Can November come any sooner..

it's a pretty strong feel that closure isn't near.

it's kind of tearing me apart.

come tuesday, i need to be stronger and happier.

2011-06-07T12:14:00.002+08:00

Hello Stranger <3

Strangers, again

I really enjoy watching Wongfu productions.

really should check them out on youtube =)

2011-06-01T17:27:00.003+08:00

i wanna remain smiling..
keep playing that little tune of mine in mind..

"i've never once regretted loving you but.. so long, goodbye~"

2011-05-23T14:32:00.006+08:00

i didn't want blog much.

so i let the pictures tell the tales.

it does tells a thousand words right?

PS: Pictures are found on Google, I've no rights to it. Thanks to whoever shared it. c:

2011-05-12T02:00:00.006+08:00

it's 2 am here..

well well..

what's ringing in my mind now is the remix of Britney Spears, Rihanna, J Lo. and Pitbull's song.

i want to gain closure.

and i think am getting near :)

all the way girl.

2011-05-10T13:57:00.007+08:00

hmm..

was reading through my mails..

and i came across this quote.

particularly, 2 lines of the quote caught my eye..

All the faces in the world are mirrors, You just have to learn how to read them.

how true is that..

the good in others, exists in you; the bad in others, exists in you as well. all because you are able to see them yourself and choose who you want to be.

2011-05-03T11:43:00.002+08:00

Mending unbroken hearts.

sounds weird?
actually come to think of it, no..

if you've read Men are Mars, Women are from Venus by John Grey..
you would have know that females talk things out to feel better, if they have a problem.
males only talk things out, if they cannot sort out their problems- asking for advices.

upon reading it, i see it.
but i also see that, none of the genders actually wanted solutions to their problems.
because each has its own ability to solve it- using their own ways.

man, humans are indeed sometimes insignificant in comparision..
so sad.

if that one day comes along, that i've someone in my life again.. i would need to remember that.
and given my forgetful nature, it's a must that i make an effort to remember it and not to repeat the silly mistakes.

and the basket of Trust.

i don't know you guys..
but i have learnt that it mustn't be given away totally..
it's not selfishness but be protective of one self..
till the day of confirmation comes again to signal you that you can trust that One totally..
that's when the basket be emptied.

2011-04-26T11:32:00.002+08:00

more frequent i blog..
it just shows that thoughts are constantly running through my mind.

last evening i had a talk with Joc..
she did made some sense to me or rather a whole lot of it.

told her i was asked "你真的开心吗？"
she heard my answer and listened on.
she then questioned me "你确认你还爱或你可能已麻木？"
and continued "你可能已没那么爱，渐渐成了习惯。。"

yes, it struck me. perhaps it's this way.
but he'll never know the pain till the fall comes its way..
i guessed he'll never recall "You're never alone."

everyone told me.. "NO, DON'T YOU, NEVER EVER~"
look back.
it's just a matter of time that _ _ _ _ _ falls on him.
hmm.. =(

2011-04-25T12:46:00.002+08:00

i want to blog about happy things..

but nothing really made me happy..

it's still bothering me.

:(

can somebody help me?

2011-04-21T11:13:00.002+08:00

you made me learn and made me fall hard.
real hard.
your excuses were made to make way for the new girl.
fine, i accept it.
because i have to.

then we agreed to be friends.
i know i agreed, but i ain't no healer of my own.
so i left it unfulfiled.
no, am not avoiding.
but am just not ready.

you kept running ahead, hoping i'll reach out for you- As a friend now.
because you remembered we agreed to be friends.
but let me ask you..
Why bother? you are in a new relationship now.
yet wanting to maintain the friendship ties with me.
why? no, you're not going to come back.
am no longer hoping for that.

i'll contact you when am ready, i won't promise.
i just want to breathe.

2011-04-14T16:23:00.002+08:00

ok, let's presume this post is going to be long..
Thanks to all the blogwalkers who have been reading my blog.

true enough, currently, it's my down period but i'll step out.
hundreds of thoughts flooded my mind since it happened. perhaps thousands of them.
i can't even recall what have i thought of exactly. sounds scary uh?
the number of times i've dropped my tears- lost count.
the number of times "Why?" appeared in my mind- countless.

One more paper to go. yes, my exams. i had one, last evening. didn't do pretty well i guess but i wrote down whatever i could. well at least, it made sense to me. =/

thoughts are still running in my mind as i'm typing this.. but there's this one thing i must blog & that's the reason why i posted this entry.

actually.. for whatever that has happened, i accept it.
i don't know how true that God sent a friend like him to my side. his ability to see further than the rest.. there must be a reason why he's here as my friend. perhaps, i don't have to know why. all i need to learn and know is to cherish.

i need to be less stubborn, stop jumping into conclusion, be less trusting (to protect myself), have to stop imagining him beside, must not revenge be the ruler, must not be selfish (well, am not), must stay positive and focus.. must have a strong mindset (no thinking, no mentioning of him!).
there are so many things that i need to do.. indeed this is a huge fall. however, i'll not back down. i just need to move forward no matter what.

Thanks to all my lovely friends who stood by me all these while. see me cry the shit out of everything, hear me saying umpteen "Whys?". they did all they could do to cheer me up but ultimately, i am the only one who can pull myself out of this emotional dugeon.

"We tend to forget that... Happiness doesn’t come... as a result of getting something we don’t have, But it rather comes.. by recognizing and appreciating all that we have." quoted from Pravsworld.

such simple logic that everyone understood but it's often forgotten and am guilty of that.

"it always gets worse before it gets better." two of my friends told me the same thing on two different occasions. yes, i've got reminded. question is, "am i near my better days or is it far from over?" well, i've the answer.. it's all in the mind.

till then.

2011-04-06T16:06:00.004+08:00

it's been one week plus..

he hasn't really left my mind..

but it's ok, am gradually getting back on my feet..

i just need more time.

currently, i need to focus on my studies.

papers are nearing.

i know am blessed.

i'll bear all the pain.

YOU.

2011-04-01T15:24:00.002+08:00

I've understood.

"It always gets worse before it gets better"

I will get better.
I need to get my priorities right.
The man I loved, just wasn't there anymore.. perhaps, we're gonna meet next time but meanwhile, I need to get going.
It takes me to be better for the better man that I'm gonna meet to deserve me and vice versa.

G.. you'll always have a special place in my heart, i promise..

As for you Jason..
buck up in whatever you do.
you'll have my support in whatever you do.

With my deepest Love
Veline.

2011-03-31T14:26:00.001+08:00

WE BROKE UP.

all the best my Love.
take care.

2011-03-26T14:48:00.007+08:00

*ransacking~

OH MY GOD.

"WHERE IS IT?!"

I NEED LUCK, perhaps many of it (right, luck is intangible).

ANYONE HAS GOT A SHAMROCK?

A RABBIT'S FOOT?

SEEN A LEPRECHAUN?!

*crossed fingers.

(\(>.<")

2011-03-21T00:04:00.000+08:00

爱与不爱

就是那么简单却又残忍。

两种人，无数的可能性。

有心人士。

- 他/她很爱你，守护着你，谅解你。大多都是为了你。

- 他/她分不清楚现状- 是爱变成一种习惯吗？因为害怕，所以选择逗留在原地。毕竟，两个人都已经在一起久了。。

- 他/她曾经爱过你，念在情分上继续拖下去，盼望时光能倒流- 找回还爱着你的痕迹。。

- 他/她不爱你了，但就是开不了口。待在潜意识里- 伤害着彼此。。

无心人士

- 他/她没说什么，便不告而别。傻傻的你都不知道哪里做错了。。

- 他/她不爱了，不故你的感受，你的哀求，自己一直往前走。

- 他/她突然不爱了，找个理由把你打法走；说你对他/她不够好~

- 他/她说了不爱了，发现他/她的未来里，没有你~ 给他/她点时间把心情和感情想清楚，后来，连号码都改了。。

爱，在种种形情都是自私的，难而又可贵。

两手一牵起，目的是永远~

2011-03-15T00:49:00.002+08:00

hello..
blogging at 12:49am.

well, just to update and share..

Japan was hit by an earthquake, on Friday, with a magnitude of 8.9 and it caused a tsunami.
Death toll is still on an increase.
sighs.
Really hope the Japanese can quickly gather their strength & faith to move on!! JY~

19 March 2011: Super Moon Occurrence.
I hope everything will be fine..
______________________________

on a personal note:

i spilled the beans.
it definitely wasn't a good feeling to experience..
neither was it a good toil to have between us.

BUT

am glad it turned out alright.
as in, we were able to overcome it.
THANK YOU VERY MUCH. <3

AND

am feeling positive about it / future.

C:

2011-03-05T23:04:00.002+08:00

hmm.. 12 days after his departure back to Aussie.
yeah, am doing not fantastic but alright.

well, a lil spark in me: i passed my microecons test. (there's more to come!)
and am back on track to hunt for job.
by hook or crook, i want to go visit him in June~
wait for me~ hahas.

hmm.. tonight feels just right in the mood for a simple, lovely date.. c:
too bad, he's not in town.

JY, LF!!~ C:

2011-02-26T21:14:00.004+08:00

那女孩想对你说她没忘记你，
你只不过被她埋在心里-最深的那层里。
她知道你的痛，
你流过的泪，
你曾有的希望。
但，她就只能说一声 “对不起”。
不知不觉，时间已流失- 六年。。。
后悔已来不及，
原点已消失。

巴士已远远的离去，再也不经过那片草地。。。
草地上所建的巴士站渐渐的生锈了。。。
女孩祝你旅程愉快~

《永远》永远都不重。。。~
_____________________________________

listening to the song inspired me to write the above.
it's so important to remember and know how to Cherish..
So simple and fragile.

G.. we remembered.

2011-02-20T15:29:00.003+08:00

Made a wrong turn, once or twice

Dug my way out, blood and fire

Bad decisions, that's alright

Welcome to my silly life

Mistreated, misplaced, misunderstood

Miss 'No way, it's all good', it didn't slow me down

Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated

Look, I'm still around

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You're f*ckin' perfect to me!

You're so mean, when you talk about yourself, you were wrong

Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead

So complicated, look happy, you'll make it!

Filled with so much hatred...such a tired game

It's enough! I've done all I can think of

Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same

Oh, pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you're nothing

You're f*ckin' perfect to me

The whole world's scared so I swallow the fear

The only thing I should be drinking is an ice cold beer

So cool in line, and we try try try, but we try too hard and it's a waste of my time

Done looking for the critics, cause they're everywhere

They dont like my jeans, they don't get my hair

Exchange ourselves, and we do it all the time

Why do we do that? Why do I do that?

Why do I do that..?

Yeah, oh, oh baby, pretty baby..!

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel

Like you're nothing, you're f*cking perfect to me

You're perfect, you're perfect!

Pretty pretty please, don't you ever ever feel

Like you're less than f*ckin' perfect

Pretty please, if you ever feel like you're nothing

You are perfect to me....

listening to Pink's yet another inspiring song..

so close to everyone's heart, i reckoned..

it's definitely a repeat on my player.

going through those locked pages in my heart..

it somehow reflects this song.

i know i'll be okay.

and he'll be happy.. c:

__________________________________

Tomorrow my LDR will start all over again,

my love will only be back in June~

hahas. *what a fake laughter*

let's buck up!

waking up, opening my eyes to see him beside me,

i greeted him saying,

".... i hope when you return, our communication cycle won't be as bad as before."

"we'll work it out."

i promised myself.

2011-02-19T15:38:00.005+08:00

right, because am dozing off that's why am now in front of the screen to blog an entry~

MICROECONOMICS paper is nearing.

SHEESH.

it's shit.

LOL.

lucky thing is, it's getting in to my brain somehow. heh.

hopefully, i do know how to apply the formulas when needed.

________________________________

back track a little..

went Thai disco last night with my evergreen friends.

nice enough for me to unwind a little and move on & FOCUS! x)

________________________________

19 Feb 2011

2 more days before he returns to Aussie.

packing his stuffs now.

i won't comment much..

*safe & sound*

back to muggin'

2011-02-15T10:30:00.000+08:00

面具背后流的眼泪，你是不会懂。。。

right, you'll never know.

2011-02-13T21:32:00.003+08:00

Valentine's Day is approaching in two hour's time..

right. it's a MONDAY.
and I've lessons in the evening.
what a spoiler~ x(
but it's alright, he's whipping dinner for me x)
am a lucky girl!
_______________________________

MESSAGE TO ALL BLOGWALKERS:

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO ALL COUPLES!~
Even if you're single, I hope Love will find its way to you..
*hugs*
_______________________________

MESSAGE TO you, yes YOU.

Thanks for everything..
And I'm glad to have you by my side even though..
YOU ARE SUCH A BULLY AT TIMES! x)

2011-02-09T12:53:00.002+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!

新年快乐！C:

今天是人日。。
是所谓大家的生日！

"\q(^o^)p/"

this CNY has been a relatively peaceful yet happy one for me.
true enough that we have all aged but most importantly yet
the toughest, is to maintain positive. c:

I'm just glad I've made up my mind.

I'm just thankful for having my cousin, Roy around me to remind me once in a while..
"Take Everything you have Heard or Seen like a Pinch of Salt"

I'm just happy that Everyone & Everything is Well.

I'm just blessed to have him around me.

And I do hope Everyone is as blessed as me! c:

2011-01-31T01:21:00.000+08:00

am sooooooooooo inLOVE. c:

will update in my next post.

2011-01-27T12:40:00.004+08:00

fiery fire.

tsk.

Grown-ups always say "Do not play with fire!"

Have you learnt your lesson?

Am I sure it's all within my control?

My heart's too full to comment on anything.

Lest, you want to get your fingers burnt..

"It has to be stopped- in time."

Then when ever is it the Right moment?

Most importantly, your Heart knows the way to Home..

2011-01-20T11:32:00.002+08:00

so much for going to you.
you.
And you.

the first You. Thank you so much for joining in and caused much distress to me. Just because you are the Girlfriend.

the second You. thought the years toughened It up but as a matter fact, it didn't.

the last You. comfort didn't point its direction from me to you. stubbornly i went up, Mr Hurt ambushed me.

Am not hurt, just Felt hurt T.T

2011-01-19T17:00:00.002+08:00

my heart is full. TOTALLY.

my mind is racing.

but am sitting here typing away calmly.

Past week, flew past bringing events to a closure.
Intensity increased.
Judgements got carried away.
Opinions got clouded.

I chose not to recall the happenings though am aware of the conscious feeling that comes with it.
Sounds familar eh.
My tears don't come easy.
but disappointed invaded me.

I guess you can just continue from here for me..

2011-01-06T00:14:00.004+08:00

6 Jan.
Time now is 12:18 am

on 5 Jan night as i walked out of TP,
flashbacks occurred in my mind.

how it all started.
how i got to know him.
when i stepped in to TP 5 years ago as his girlfriend..
how much he wanted me to be there when he takes the center of stage.
how happy he was..
the concourse at ENG block,
those words that were meant only for my eyes.
that clubroom.

he made me fell for him over and over again..
he never fail to make me smile.
the surprise i gave during my 1 hr break to travel from Simei to Tamp,
just because he felt like having blueberry cheesecake..

it was then the break-up.
that embarrassment sensed among his peers as to why i still appeared as his partner for AGM.
and all he said to them was "Have you not seen a human being before?"

All and 5 years later, we're still together.
C:

2011-01-05T15:15:00.003+08:00

Hi world.

it's New Year.
2011.

Got like so many things on my mind and to achieve it.
Last few days of 2010 and the first 2 days of 2011,
i played so hard. hahas.
went over to my girlfriend's place to party.
it was just AWFULLY AWESOME. c:

on a slightly down note (heh.) school started on the 3 Jan.
but am glad to be a student once again. C:
no way my expenses are going down, i need an income.
tell me more about working & studying at the same time.

well at least, 2011 started out well enough for me..

in a month's time, Chinese New Year will announce its arrival.
isn't that fasssssssssssssssssssttttt?
it reminds me of...
hmm, i will only touch on that in Feb, i promise.
i've got a gut feeling that 2011 will pass as fast as 2010.

*feeling a little greedy now*
i am gonna think of a wishlist for my Birthday. heh.

i so wanna be Rich.

2010-12-29T14:35:00.004+08:00

whoa.
i guessed i haven't logged in for weeks?!

well..
Christmas is over, New Year is nearing!~
i've got 3 Ds for Christmas.. Yikes. (any ideas to the Ds?)
Hope everything ends well, during the last few days of 2010~
New Year- 2011.
Must buck up.
my new chapter is coming up. c:
Save up!
Work hard!

today's G's birthday.
hahas. i'll see him later..

Happy Birthday once again.
Good health and Happiness falls upon You (always)!

2010-12-11T12:54:00.006+08:00

Rate my mood:" Neutral-y" happy c:

though things haven't been quite smooth for me but..

i've learnt to be contented for the little things that puts a curve on my face.. c:

*perhaps, i've learnt that all along but i didn't make a full use of it~*

i can feel my energy coming.

i know 2010 is ending, 2011 is nearing *duh*

so i shall come up with my "old yet always new because i seldom or forgot to fulfill New Year Resolutions ". x)

side track a little, i bought the book that i wanted! A good read never fails me! C:

i want to see the world like Ketut mentioned in the book:
"To find balance in Life - One must have four legs (down to Earth), two hands, a wild foliage as head and feel the World with your Heart"

i will forget what has to be forgotten,
i shall remember what needs to be remembered.

i will move on~

jia you.

2010-12-06T15:47:00.003+08:00

seriously..

i feel like pronouncing my Facebook dead.
at least for now.

i feel dead as well.
LOL.

losing faith..
even in him - when everything's going well.

i'll sit back, think and observe my thoughts & steps once again.

the financial agony has once again arrived too >(

I'LL BE BACK.
c:

2010-11-30T00:20:00.002+08:00

hello world..

first of all,
i need to keep my fingers cross for these few days~
it better be good news or rather, please let me receive it!!

secondly,
THANKS to MY LOVE //
i got my CAMMIE, PEPPA;;
x)

thirdly,
thankfully, Jason's friend Bernard
came around.. and hopefully he'll regain his speech and memory real soon!

LOVE love loveS
LOVE love loveS
LOVE love loveS
LOVE love loveS

2010-11-26T12:26:00.003+08:00

i hated what i saw..
it made me feel kind of numb..
iamnothing at all.
shouldn't doubt you but..
i didn't.
trust me.
i know you do.
but i don't.

2010-11-23T13:05:00.003+08:00

ok, it's going to be month end soon..
i really hope good news comes in my way~
*crossed fingers.

i got to get my hands moving and clicking away~
to search for jobs and call back HR for that postponed interview..
hmm.

after thinking.. i guessed it's fine to start low and i'll work it up..
but i must like and the environment must be pleasant (well, at least..)
it's hard but i got to keep pushing on..

WE'RE OKAY *LOVES.

Himalayas
Nature Republic
Bobbi Brown

2010-11-21T18:04:00.002+08:00

- I NO LONGER FEEL LOVED BY YOU.

- YOU LIKE LEAVING YOUR PHONE ALONE WHEN I WANT IT TO BE IN YOUR HANDS.

- I DO NOT UNDERSTAND OUR LANGUAGE.

- I WANT YOU FAR AWAY SO I CAN FEEL YOUR LOVE.

- WE DON'T GIVE OUT THE WARMEST HUGS.

- WE BOTH LIKE CRAPPING.

- SERIOUSLY, OPPOSITES ATTRACT.

- WE FEEL THE SAME NOT.

- YOU GAVE ME A BREAK.

- I GAVE YOU MANY KIT-KATS.

- YOU'RE NOT A HUMAN.

- I AM NUMBED.

randoms.

2010-11-14T15:52:00.001+08:00

right.
my blog is in a mess.

tsk.
toopuid font formatting.

2010-11-14T14:34:00.002+08:00

"let me finish my Apple then i key in my thoughts.." =3

right.
done eating.

hmm.. another FOUR more days. c:
well, last night i made a (wrong)move.
i know it is(wrong).
i also know it's a passing phase.
because Like & Love is TWO different things.

BUT I LOVE HIM. :D
right, G? (:

soon, __ be gone like the wind~
all the best.

anyway, i can't wait to write on G's Facebook wall~
3
2
1
:
0

ok, let's get serious.
ah gong, you better get well soon..
you've been strong and i know you can overcome it..

"Give me your best pose and Flash me your Best toothless smile!"
______________________

i haven't been nice towards him.
maybe i haven't forgive him.
am always hostile towards him.
i don't know why.
i dislike looking at you in the eye.
i dislike talking to you nicely.
because i still think you don't really deserve it.
but at least, you're given your Rights to live..
so just don't cross my Borders~
______________________

MY CAMMIE'S NO LONGER A HOPE~
it's coming to me soon~ =))
i'll be diligent, i'll be good.
i promise to bug you daily (well, technically EVERY TIME I SEE YOU.)
can't wait either to lay my hands on it to hear it go..
`SNAP SNAP~
______________________

okok, i will sleep early tonight.
"go away eye bags & dark circles, I DON'T LOVE YOU AT ALL!"
well, not that bad lah..
keke.

2010-11-10T22:31:00.006+08:00

10 nov.

whoa.

8 more days on my side

&

1 more week on his!

C:

"ICAN'TWAIT."

good luck G~
good luck to his friends as well.
and his secondary school buddy..
i hope he has come around.... >.<>

SHU UMERA SPOT CORRECTOR (i hope i got the brand right.. or is it ...??)
BOBBI BROWN'S GEL EYELINER

till my next income.
if not kiss good bye~

2010-11-04T23:48:00.002+08:00

YAY!~

he's coming back soon..
it's nearing.
however, i feel a little blank of what's going to happen after that.
oh well..

C:

anyway, i went Bugis with Mummy and Aunt today.
not bad.
i got my Pooh Bear iPhone cover.
Alas.
but i really wanted Piglet instead.
they're really bias.
but am still happy with what i got.
bought another short pull over.
twenty bucks.
saw a vintage bag, was so tempted to buy.
end up, i didn't.
hmm.. maybe some other time.. =/
if it's mine, it'll be there for me. c:
oh ya, saw a pair of shorts.
kind of feminine classic shorts, with pretty variety colours. C:
BUT.. i didn't buy >.<"
*wait for me shorty~

must save up.
MUST SAVE UP.

yaya, i thought of dying my hair..
should i...??
shall think about it..

that's all for now..
C: good nights.

2010-10-30T20:54:00.002+08:00

the day has come.

30th.

am so touched.

a BIG thanks.

it's time to move on~

jia you. C:

"now, am waiting for you~"

2010-10-27T22:04:00.006+08:00

22 more days to his return.
well well..
c:

anyway a list of stuffs i hope i can do it.
(certain, that i want to have it done)

buy more book, read more.

eat healthily- fruits, veggies & milk. less rice please!

have ample rest.

open an XXX account.

save more money.

pray hard for my course application.

get a new job. (5 day week please?)

update my resume.

maintain that smile.

go down to the beach and have a walk.

pump up efficiency.

get more facial/ body products than clothing.

(but i can't resist!)

cut down on cold beverages & sweet stuffs!

stop my selective memory.

hopes Jason can do well for his papers. +U.

hopes Jason's secondary school buddy can regain conscious ASAP.

Everybody stays healthy!

Dear Pops, i hope am not too greedy! =p

buck up!

2010-10-21T21:21:00.002+08:00

i must really pray hard for my future.

Pop..

I WANNA GO SCHOOL.
I WANNA STUDY.
I WANNA GET A PROPER JOB.
PLEASE ALLOW ME.

T.T

2010-10-17T13:20:00.002+08:00

32 more days to his return.

c:

these few months, i could barely slow down in my own world.
i haven't been day dreaming.
hahas.

it's a good thing anyway.
but a few things happened.
both good and bad.
trust me, indeed am getting stronger.
however, being assured is another issue.

@wb: go back to square one.
@my: i like the care and concern you gave. i like the name "tubby" :)
@et: really thankful for the hug you gave..

2010-10-03T22:13:00.003+08:00

Day..

i thought i would want to count on.
i thought i would trace back the dates.

i admit, it caught me off guard.
and you're not helping at all.
i refuse to believe that we can solely rely on these to survive.
the worst has yet to come for this is just the start.
and how bad is this that am already feeling this way now.

are you still in love with me?
i know what you would say.

i can only hope the day to come quickly for me realise and judge in a clearer
perspective and understanding.

it was nobody's fault to begin with.
just mine alone..

2010-09-10T13:59:00.003+08:00

Day...

right. i've lost track of the days to count.

or am i just purely lazy..
hehe.
=x

anyway, i'll work my way to November for a few things to happen.
meanwhile, i'll just buck up at work.. c:

well, all have been pretty good to me.
went to watch Grown Up with MY last night after work.
what a good laugh. c:

Grand went on a vacation yesterday.
am back at grand's place!
Happiness! ^^
but no more home cooked food for now >p

got to help grand with a little bit of house chores.
hahas.
anyway, hope that G did well for his paper. c:
and i'm gonna search for another job pretty soon,
another shot at Uni SIM. (i really wanna study..)

i will NOT back down.
jia you.

note to self:

do NOT procrastinate any longer

do NOT be lazy

2010-08-29T12:05:00.002+08:00

lalala~

i lost count for the days..
feels lazy today to retrace the date,
will do it next time..

c:

am counting down to November...

Something's missing..
Somewhere.

2010-08-21T23:29:00.002+08:00

Day 38.

a few thoughts ran through my mind when i was on my
way home.

random and fast ones.

stop FB-ing.
read & learn more.
run errands.
stop waiting.
stop feeling bad.
stay focus.
smile even more.
am alone after all.
c:
but it's true, you come to the world alone;
you leave the world alone.

2010-08-18T21:53:00.003+08:00

Day 35.

hmm.. i really don't have the mood to read up.

opps. =x

arghs. sleepy already..

tsk me.

must not give in..

tomorrow marks the 4th year of our relationship.
c:

2010-08-16T22:22:00.003+08:00

Day 33.

加油！

ling feng, keep going~ c:

somehow ; though it's just a feel but i know..

we can make it.

C:

2010-08-15T13:02:00.004+08:00

Day 31/32.

31st day i think.
lost track counting.
hahas.

today's the 15th.
4 more days! c:
it's a really different feeling this time..
as i think back, it's of course not easy to be here with him.
never once a relationship is easy, lest you're just out to play.
am just glad that i've met him.
not to think anything more for now.. c:
_____________________________

started.
it started.
so far so good.
but am aware that i need to read up more info..
am pretty determined to end after 3 months.. c:
buck up!
______________________________

these few weeks, happenings lay low for me.
however, there one or 2 rare cases that kind of made me
nonchalant.

case 1.
"SHITS! BUT LIKE I CARE..~" HAHAS.

case 2.
"I JUST DON'T GIVE A DAMN ANYMORE."

case 1: closed.
case 2: it's definitely not the ending if.. but am on self declared break! ^^
_____________________________

woots.
YOG started yesterday.
was at boat quay with girlfriends- Minds Cafe.
halfway through our games, fireworks lighted up the sky..
for a few ten over odd seconds that is.. hahas.
i didn't had enough time to take our my phone to record it.
after a few tries, i gave up.. >w<" i used Brain memory videoed it down instead. *winks. LOL. note to Rachel: congrats Babe to your newly attained status! i'll make it for 101010 ^^ Happy Belated Birthday once again! aww.. am so sleepy now.

2010-08-06T16:39:00.003+08:00

Day 23.

alright.
yesterday..

oh well.
never mind.

applied for jobs.
hopefully i can get what i want.

but thinking of it..

am i asking too much?

1.4 no
1.45nah
2 can't work
1.55 stop

was talking to my twiny earlier on.
she's got a new job.
hmm, congrats! c:
basic 1.2..
she has the same qualifications as me!
and she start off working with 1.2.
true, that she might have another benefits not yet added in.
but it's a meager sum.

or perhaps..
i should just concentrate on achieving the happiness within me first.
get the experience and save up..
at least i have an income.

i need to get that into my head..
then things don't seem that bad after all.

"give me a ring ; will you just ring?"

Daughter: "Father, am trying to be happy. Really.. I wanna move on. Guide me will you?"
Father: "As each day passes, each doing you do, you are already moving on and I've always guide you along."

FUCK, I JUST REALISED A WHOLE CHUNK OF MY PREVIOUS BLOG ENTRY WENT MISSING. IT WAS STILL THERE AFTER I POSTED UP AND I READ IT A FEW TIMES BEFORE I WENT TO BED JUST TO ENSURE NO SPELLING MISTAKES..................................... FML.

2010-08-04T13:12:00.003+08:00

continued from the wee hours of this morning's entry.

yesterday, someone called me and we had a good talk.
it made me more sure than ever as the talk lengthened.
it seems that i wanna be stuck in the past and be dote.
because he makes me his everything.

the word is "it seems".

we listed out the "what ifs.."
and i thought, yes i would be happy,
perhaps, i won't tear as much.

but like what i told him,
"i just can't imagine.... till now."
perhaps am just selfish and i can't bear seeing you go.
however, subconsciously, i know i can. c:

initially i felt a sense of betrayal towards Jason
because i talked about the past with him.
yet, i told him,
"i won't leave Jason.. till he leaves me. Jason knows."

and i added "let's just move on and see what has Future in-stored for us."

that pricking conscious of mine, stopped when Jason whatsapp-ed me
while i was window shopping away.

but it was funny when i thought it would be him to whatsapp me not Jason.
and after i replied Jason, waiting for Jason's..
yet he replied.
hahas.

"Jason ; pictures of you & me"

oh yes,
i bought a vintage necklace yesterday. c:
so much for window shopping instead of exploring.

see that? it's a tiny treasure chest! c:

*i just have a soft spot for vintage accessories

M U S T S T OP S P E N D I N G

M U S T S T O P S P E N D I N G

...............

arghs.

2010-08-03T23:57:00.009+08:00

Day 20/21.

because i felt a lot past few days
and i didn't had a "good day" yesterday..

it's going to be a long entry.
_____________________________

3 weeks.
call that in a blink of any eye or twice.
He's there for 3 weeks already..
hmm.

well these few days, i didn't really contact him..
purposely, you think?
perhaps. *winks.
as i gradually learn to contact him at a slower rate..
i just feel that missing someone can be controlled.
but similarly, i know the feeling of "miss you like crazy!"
or maybe, i've outgrown that feeling?
i learnt to be at ease?
i mean i don't know..
that feeling is just fine with me.
or just simply i'm getting used to, "Jason, I'm fine that you're not by my side, anymore.. I did."
for 3 years that is.
C:
well, the consolation prize, he's not a dumb block as i thought he would be
*smiling stupidly to myself =p
reason: i contacted him briefly 2 days ago, dropped a whatsapp.
continued to contact him yesterday while i was free being the "lightbulb".
*shrugs.
sent him 2 shots of myself, edited with caption.
got him to send me one of his own.
hahas! and he did! C:
so adorable!
yet i mistook him for sending his friend's photo to me just to tease me!
LOL.
as we update each other, i can't help smiling.
*butterflies in my tummy! (a little!) xp
he realised i haven't contact him for days and he initiated to talk to me.
am glad, really.
however, we did talked about "why..?"
upon that, i "shoo-ed" him to bed! hahas!

G, am waiting for my little anni-gift shot(s)! C:
_____________________________

define "The Right Path."
define "Success."
define "Clever."
define "Smart."
define "Academically Inclined."

my mummy, my grandmother used to say..
"鱼吃多多，脑才会聪明!"
"要读好书，长大以后才会赚多多钱！”
“。。。不然做扫地的！”

familiar?
hahas, you bet!
perhaps lately, am too coup up with the fact of studying.
i (desperately) want to.
but i shall go with the timeline He set for me.
and when i have the funds. >.<

2010-07-31T17:23:00.001+08:00

Day 17.

Perhaps i should have an open mind and
let Time be my Judge.

2010-07-30T22:08:00.003+08:00

Day 16.

day 16 should be blank.

（-w-）

2010-07-26T23:59:00.003+08:00

Day 13.

time shown on my lappy ; 12mn.
exactly thirteen days since he left for Aussie.

guess we're doing well.

his mum called me this evening, asking me did i chatted with him these few days..
yeah. c:

in my heart i wanted to say,
"auntie, your son's busy that he hasn't got time for me though i want to chat with him."
oh well.

maybe i should be more understanding.
anyway, we're in a LDR, it's on a whole new level.
i need to be more understanding.

he hasn't got time for me because he needs to study & work out.
soon there will be assignments, tests and papers for him to complete.
and i need to find a job, i will get it. c:
save up!

but it's just that, i don't want him to neglect the part on
our communication.
i don't want us to drift apart.
because that's what am fearing..

2010-07-25T21:48:00.004+08:00

Day 11.

Time really flies.
Hmm.. how come when i typed it, i feel like sighing?
Humans are just complex creatures.

Anyway, on Friday...

I WENT TO JAY CHOU'S CONCERT!
muahahas!
it was 2 thumbs up!
though am not really a fan of his.
but his superb talent in music- i won't deny it.
i especially love the 3D graphics presented to the audience
and him playing the piano. the video clip he made, showed
us the hard work he put in since his very first album- 10 albums out.
10 albums. for a minute, i was kind of touched. hahas.

加油吧，周杰伦！

Yesterday, i went to NE 3. NDP.
like am crashing all the huge events. hahas.
thanks for the tickets, Leon. c:
i went with mei mei.
this year, nothing special, i only like the tote bag. =x
even the fireworks was like o.O"??

Tomorrow, a brand new, official opening chapter for Jason!
Yippes for him. he's starting school tomorrow. you too must

加油！c:

as for me, all the best for my upcoming... ^^

that's all for now!

Check out this great xinmsn Video: Jay Chou FIRST Autograph session in SG! 周杰伦狮城首场签名会！

2010-07-23T12:22:00.001+08:00

Check out this great xinmsn Video: Jay Chou FIRST Autograph session in SG! 周杰伦狮城首场签名会！

in the video itself, Jay Chou questioned the audience,

“你们都因该听过我的唱片了吧？”

我：“有啊，我这几天有在恶补...”

like tonight's his concert?!

>.<"

am i a pro or what..?

tsk.

LOL.

黑。角落

A new chapter.

它说《放弃，也是另一种幸福》我说 《这种幸福，没人会领。》

Check out this great xinmsn Video: Jay Chou FIRST Autograph session in SG! 周杰伦狮城首场签名会！

它说《放弃，也是另一种幸福》我说《这种幸福，没人会领。》